How to keep a long-distance kinky relationship alive

He wakes me up in the mornings with a message on Kik. 

Him: G’morning baby. Eyes are like sacks  [string of cute emojis]  Love you xxx

Me: Love you too… even with baggy eyes.  Oh babe and it’s only Wednesday.

Him: Yeah I need more sleep for sure.

Me: Were you late to bed after tucking me in?

Him: Yeah, a bit.  Had to iron [shirt for work] and wash. Running now for the train.

Me:  Thinking of naked Hof in the shower.

Him: Ooh you can watch next time… But on your knees.

Me: Squeeeeeeeee! [a general noise emitted to indicate high state of excitement]

Him: So very much.  Gonna be a wet ride to work (grin) [he’s not talking about the weather]

Another string of pathetically cute emojis and kissing icons pass between us while he rushes for the train.  He’s tired and he likes to snooze on the journey into the city, so I leave him alone until he buzzes me when he arrives at work. 

Him: Cute girl. My cock salutes your hotness.

Me: Oooo how delicious… suspecting you are somewhat aroused my darling?  I’m still in my slave position, waiting for you.

Him: Oh darling pet, I will reward you firmly for your devotion. I will be inspecting you thoroughly when I arrive.

Me: …. dribble…

Him: Need to have you.

Me: So much.  Long long long endless having bodies together twisting aching soothing.

Him: Oh god yes.  I want to ram you hard. Thrash you. Use you. Cast you away.

Me: …. wet….

He makes some silly joke, like he does, to which there can be no verbal response.  Just a rolling of eyes, or a brief “Hahaha”, which is what I go for this time. 

Me:  Have you arrived?  Making your tea now?  I follow your day in my mind.

Him:  Just logged in.  Need to change shoes then tea.

We chat about the quality of the tea, and the fact that his office only provides takeaway paper cups to drink from, a clear indicator that his employers are a bunch of bloody savages.  

Me:  Worshiping your cock all day I have decided.

Him:  Delicious pet. Now, get under the table between my legs and start worshiping me as I have work to do.

Me:  Yes Master.


Him:  I hope you’re enjoying your feed.  I’m enjoying cumming down your throat.  Had to get up and get earl grey tea to replenish my body fluids.

Me:  oh! I should have done that for you.  And one for myself… with sugar…. to wash down the cum.  Yes, I’m enjoying myself very much.  Your cock is really a thing of beauty and deserves much attention.

Me:  Can you grab the back of my head and pull me down hard onto it a few times?  I like it dirty like that. Your selfish desire is all I want.

Him:  Pet, you outdo yourself! I’m so proud you’re all mine! I’ve cum several times now. But you’re not allowed. This is my pleasure, not yours x

Me:  Master I only want to serve you. I would NEVER cum without your permission.

Him:  Good slave. I will consider treats for you tonight.  Meanwhile bring me to orgasm again. I need to choke you with my cum.

Me:  I’m running my tongue around the tip now and sucking the length of you slowly and steadily.

Him:  Firmer. It’s not a clit.  [this makes me chuckle and turns me on at the same time.  I love it when he’s commanding with me and treats me like I’m useless – I’m actually pretty good at this]

Me:  Yes. Please guide me whenever you need to.

Him:  I will. You need to adapt to my requirements pet and then you will have your rewards. I need you to lick my precum right now.  [now I’m sure there’s genuine precum involved, and this is not just fantasy talk, and I want it…. damn LDR]

Me: Lapping it up like the cat that got the cream!

Him:  Going to the bathroom to jack off.  Wish you were here, cream n all xxx

I’m deeply satisfied at this point.  He’s going to actually cum, at work, thinking of me. 

Me:  Sweetie! You’re going to cum?? How wonderful.

Five or ten minutes pass – a reasonable length of time, though it probably only took him a few to reach orgasm, as I’m sure he was already half-way there.  And he picks straight up with,

Him: Yup.  All over you. Feel clearer now.

Me:  Oh bliss xxx


I get that no one else is probably interested in this except for me and Hof.  We’re daft and corny but we’re in love and this stuff keeps us going.  Six weeks since we were last together.  8 more days until we can fuck properly again.  Bliss.




the silver lining of these days

within the grey, the beauty of the rain,
the endless swell of jilted wakings,
wishing sleep could stay.

the empty pillow next to me –
11 days.

when you arrive I will sink deeply into you,
taking you in with great gulps of air, the balance returned to who we are.

I won’t need words (- forbid me to speak), we used them up in weeks of lunchtime calls, the broken lines and daily blocks to communication. when you arrive I wish only to speak with my body, to serve; to sleep at your feet and find peace in being your pet again.

when you are gone,
leave me with marks that last until the days begin to stretch and I can face the mornings with more strength again.

I am learning patience and the benefits of waiting, and whether you bring punishments or rewards, both are as longed for in the loneliness of this new-year-empty-ache.