within the grey, the beauty of the rain,
the endless swell of jilted wakings,
wishing sleep could stay.
the empty pillow next to me –
when you arrive I will sink deeply into you,
taking you in with great gulps of air, the balance returned to who we are.
I won’t need words (- forbid me to speak), we used them up in weeks of lunchtime calls, the broken lines and daily blocks to communication. when you arrive I wish only to speak with my body, to serve; to sleep at your feet and find peace in being your pet again.
when you are gone,
leave me with marks that last until the days begin to stretch and I can face the mornings with more strength again.
I am learning patience and the benefits of waiting, and whether you bring punishments or rewards, both are as longed for in the loneliness of this new-year-empty-ache.